Baby is turning one!
Baby’s first birthday coming up soon?
Something really odd happened to me. I feel I just brought my baby back from the hospital 5 minutes ago, yet somehow it’s time to plan her first birthday.
You know what I mean. A whole year has gone by in a flash and your tiny newborn is turning into a toddler. Oh my, what are you to do?
Well, the internet would suggest a first birthday extravaganza, with a lovely colour scheme, pixy finger food and the parents’ friends and families attending bearing gifts and taking too many pictures on their phones.
Now, not all parents will WANT to do that, and that’s absolutely fine. Budget restrictions, tricky family politics, small talk fatigue: whatever the reason, sometimes a party isn’t worth it.
But I do want to throw a first birthday party!
However, there’s also another category of parents, the ones really longing to throw a first birthday party, except… gulp, there’s no one to invite!
You might be thinking, how can this possibly be? Or you might be nodding along in recognition.
The truth is, in today’s complicated and globalised societies, a lot of people become parents while living hundreds of miles away from any extended family. To make things even more challenging, then comes a realisation: it’s not an easy thing to forge new friendships in your mid-thirties. It’s true, it does take a village. Yet sometimes, there simply isn’t one.
Circumstances like this can be really hard on an everyday basis, let alone significant occasions. I know this from first hand experience, as I also know the need to celebrate baby’s first year and where it really stems from.
A birthday party is not for the baby BUT no one said it was
I’m not going to sit here and tell you the baby won’t remember the party and won’t care about the presents, because you already know that. People sometimes use this argument to diminish the importance of a first birthday party: it’s more for you than the baby surely? Well, duh!
You’ve gone through a life altering experience, you’ve spent the best part of the year feeding an infant and you’ve turned a tiny newborn into a happy and bouncy toddler.
You might have done that with help from friends and family, with people stepping up and holding your hand and doing your shopping and watching your baby so you can shave your pits, cementing your friendship or familial bond.
Or you might have done it without any external support, seeing yourself and your other half power through everything and rise to the occasion day after day after day, three hundred and sixty five times.
You’ve done it while still being sane, with your place still habitable and perhaps even with an older kid who is still fed, washed and looked after.
So don’t let people make you feel like you’re fussy and superficial. Baby’s first birthday deserves to be marked as the occasion that it is.
The grass is always greener
Having said that, as with all things, going down the social media rabbit hole will not help. No party is perfect: there will be stress, family dramas, tiredness, awkwardly-timed naps. But you don’t see that – all you see is a gigantic balloon arch.
Comparing your personal situation to a staged instagram post can make you feel like you’re not enough, which is of course untrue.
So let’s see how you can make this day special, sans the balloon arch, the party, the guests or the social pressure.
This a brainstorming of ideas from someone who’ s been there, twice. You will know what suits you and what doesn’t, and you might even get inspired to come up with different ideas altoghether (if so, do let me know in the comments).
This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may receive commissions if you choose to purchase through links I provide (at no extra cost to you).
Ways to celebrate baby’s first birthday – without a party
Pick a theme and decorate
Now, not everyone wants to bother with this but I have a background in design for film so any excuse to dress our place like a set is good for me! Have fun picking a theme that symbolises your first year together or your baby’s emerging character.
Because I can’t get over the cuteness of party decorations, I have an ever growing Pinterest board full of themed party ideas. This might qualify as slightly mad as I haven’t had the chance to actually throw a kids’ party yet, but what can I say?
I am a pretty event enthusiast! In order to channel that I have had the pleasure to help thousands set the tone for their own happy occasions with my printable invitations and decor.
So even when I found myself not having anyone to invite at my own babies’ first birthday, I did not skip that bit. If I can help it, I will not miss out on choosing a theme for the day.
(Give this board a follow if you fancy some cute party eye candy.)
Theme inspiration
My first born was a July baby. With strawberries in season, this gave us the perfect theme for both decorations and treats for the day. My youngest one has the sunniest of dispositions and had a ‘first trip around the sun’ birthday.
I find this builds anticipation and a sense of occasion that makes up for the lack of a traditional party.
With a normal birthday party, the decoration focus would be the tablescape with food, treats and cake display. However, since this is NOT a party and you don’t have to feed an army feel free to skip this.
Instead, you can put together a small composition. Your focus can be: the baby’s high chair, the baby’s bed, a fireplace surround, an empty corner in your living or dining room, a sheet or picnic blanket in your patio, garden or balcony.
All it takes to cheer up the place for the day is 3 large paper rosettes, some bunting, fresh flowers and a couple of foil balloons (if you’re into balloons). Pair those with some door banners and you have the cutest setup for a private celebration!
Dress up
Mark the occasion with putting on your favourite outfit, and why not treat the little one to some new clothes too?
Dressing up can really make the day feel special and festive. Not to mention you’ll look great in all the photos! Which brings me nicely to my next point.
Set up a DIY birthday photo shoot – or book a professional one
If your budget allows it, you will never regret a professional photoshoot.
However this is not always practical or feasible. Also I have discovered that setting up a photo session at home is actually quite enjoyable.
Set up a mini photo studio to capture your baby’s big milestone. Does this sound a little daunting? Let me explain: You literally only need a neutral background and good lighting. If you have a white wall or a large sheet, that will do! And if you’re close to a window, even better!
My top personal recommendations for a successful DIY first birthday photoshoot:
- Good light, preferably natural (but not direct sunlight).
- Background: A clean surface. This could be a plain wall, a large sheet, or a purpose bought photography background. You will want the focus to be on the baby, so don’t worry yourself with too many objects and decorations in the background. Bunting, a few balloons, or a garland are all good options.
- Midground: Put baby in the middle in an outfit that either matches or compliments your decorations.
- Foreground: If you want to stage this as a cake smash, (a modern-classic first birthday activity) then your cake is the perfect element for the foreground. Other options can be a large wrapped present, a favourite toy or MDF, cardboard or lit letters that spell ONE.
Then let your phone and your favourite Lightroom preset to do the hard work!
Celebrate baby’s first birthday with a lovely day out
Well if you’re not hosting a party you don’t even have to be at home if you don’t want to! Plan a special family outing to the aquarium, park, zoo, a nearby nature trail, or pair the occasion with a seasonal activity – something special happening around baby’s first birthday.
If your baby has a play date friend or two this would be a lovely occasion to include them too. (I would still put baby in the new outfit if out and about! I mean, why not, right?)
Plan a few video calls with familiar faces on baby’s first birthday
I will be 100% honest here: if I read this 3 years ago I would have said it’s total BS. What good is a video call going to do me or the baby?
Then the pandemic happened, shortly followed by Baby #1 and Baby #2, born and brought up away from any family whatsoever. And there I was, a hardcore introvert that loathes speaking on the phone, scheduling one video call after the other in an effort to show my daughters they have people, and sometimes this is the way to see them and reach them.
And to my surprise, from only a few months of age, they started interacting, smiling, waving, recognising faces and voices. So if you find yourself without a village on that special day schedule a few calls with family and friends. Your loved ones can sing happy birthday, enjoy your baby’s reactions and virtually join in your celebrations.
Give your baby a book, and sign it
This is a tradition I love. I still have signed books from my own childhood (not my first birthday but still). Choose a book that was special to you growing up, or one that you think your baby will love. Write a birthday message on the inside cover and sign it.
My first born was going through a lion phase around her first birthday. So she was given Helen Stephens’ ‘How to hide a lion’. She loved it so much she started chewing the spine immediately. (I do recommend a board book, it will last longer.)
And as your child grows, this will become a treasured memento. Your little one will soon be able to read the dedication and signature and will love hearing all about that first birthday.
Make a time capsule and seal it on your baby’s first birthday
Put together a box of meaningful items from your baby’s first year, to open on a future birthday. Some ideas to inspire you: hospital bracelets, first bodysuit, dummies, comforter, letters / notes from you or the grandparents, a newspaper from the day baby turned one, a couple of photographs. This will create a cherished keepsake for both you and your little one to look back on.
Plan a more social 2nd birthday, well in advance
Do you still love the idea of having a more open birthday celebration? Why not plan one to mark the peak of toddlerhood and the start of your terrible twos adventure?
Start planning early for your baby’s second or a different future birthday to make sure any logistics can be worked out for family and friends to be there with you. Alternatively, consider traveling back home yourself. Set your date well in advance, keep an eye out for airline offers and let everyone know. Early planning will make it easier to have a bigger celebration next year.
Lastly, is baby starting any classes, nursery or playgroups this year? Take the opportunity to make some new mum friends. Yes, it’s easier said than done. But you’d be surprised by how many mums are in the same position as you, wishing for some playdate / coffee date combos.
Baby’s first birthday wrap-up
All you mamas with no village, I hope the above puts you in the mood to make the day special, even if you’re not sharing it with your loved ones. I wish your little one’s first birthday is an unforgettable one. If you have a few tips of your own let me know in the comments. Until next time!
Related posts: How we finally sleep – trained our 2-year old.
